Sayuki, смешные цитаты из фиков

[Хриза]

На что только не наткнешься в поисках английского.

Click! Sanzo locks the door.
Gojyo glares at the slab of wood.
Then he knocks again.
“Little pig, little pig, let me in…” the kappa chants. (ну да... как романтично)
Silence.
“Oi tareme (droopy eyes)! You’re supposed to say ‘Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin’!”


Without meaning to, Sanzo finds himself kissing Gojyo back ardently, their mouths opened wide as their slick tongues explore and slide and thrust hotly against each other. Dimly, Sanzo becomes aware that he and Gojyo are already rubbing their aching arousals against each other’s jeans. (а ты еще говоришь, у меня в фиках Годжо тупой... )


“Don’t you ‘poor kappa’ me! I mean it! You do realize those jeans don’t show off my legs… I have fine long legs…”
“Gojyo…” Sanzo begs, laughing weakly.
“What? It’s true! I have great legs!” (Ага!)
“Yes you do…”
“And now no one will ever know… I’ll have to wear baggy jeans for the rest of my life, like a fucking homeboy… well, at least I already have the bandanna to go with it…” Gojyo snorts disgustedly.


Seated side by side on Sanzo’s bed are the priest and the kappa, eyes closed, chins bowed, sitting in the lotus position, chanting solemnly (до чего Годжо любовь довела!)


Truth is, Gojyo and Hakkai did know, but they weren’t the only ones who did, the Kougaiji-tachi knew as well. Heck, even Homura’s gang knew of the monk and monkey’s predicament. (...и я знаю, и все остальные фанатки-психопатки... и весь интернет-слэш...продолжить список?)
Hakkai had given Gojyo no more than one task to complete while he was gone. This ‘task’ was to crack open a couple of eggs, placing the insides in a bowl. Simple no? No. To Gojyo, you see, everything has to be complicated. (во-во^^)
A crashing sound was heard as Sanzo rammed himself out of the closet. Why was he in a closet, you may ask? (хм... действительно, что он там забыл?)
Well, for some apparent reason Hakkai had ‘accidentally’ bumped into him, which caused the monk to loose balance and trip into the closet. After that Hakkai had ‘unintentionally’ locked the closet door, trapping Sanzo into the confined room. (оооо.... во как все сложно-то оказалось....) Weird, huh? (хорошо, когда автор отдает себе отчет, о чем она пишет...)


Sanzo was supposed to be the one to do ‘it’ with the saru first. He was his master after all… (самая главная причина!)


Goku couldn’t sleep. He rose from his bed and opened the door. The hall was dimly lit in the dark of the night.
Goku stepped out into the hall. He glance left, then right, then realized that he wished to go left, and thus turned the afforementioned direction and walked down the hall. (ну-ну... пойдешь направо – санзо поколотит, налево – годжо накричит, вот и не получается следовать своим желаниям^^)
Goku counted the doors. He wanted the third room from his. It was hard to keep track in the dark. (хм...наверное, темнота влияет на деятельность мозга)
Goku tried the handle. It was unlocked. How unusual.
Sanzo was awake. Not just barely awake, although he made it seem that way. Fully awake. (все всё поняли?)
Sanzo lie in bed, his robes pulled down to his waist. He stared at the door as it opened, but then closed his eyes quickly. («чудовище!» - подумал санзо и в испуге закрыл глаза)
Sanzo heard footsteps approach the bed (а вы что думали? Нюх, как у собаки, а слух, как у...). He ignored his hopes. (надежды, что это что-то, подходящее к его постели, повернет обратно и оставит его в покое)
Sanzo felt Goku’s breath as he lingered over the false-sleeping man (а только что был awake...). It was warm and quick, as if the monkey was nervous. Sanzo felt nervous, too. (за компанию, наверное)
Sanzo felt Goku’s hands being placed beside his shoulders as Goku bent farther over the bed. (как?! Он еще не открыл глаза? Поистине бесстрашный монах!) He opened his eyes (свершилось!) just a little to see Goku’s face (на остальное не хватило сил). Goku’s eyes questioned only for a moment before Sanzo’s gave the consent. (а чего вообще спрашивать? Вошел, наклонился... зачем какие-то вопросы?)
And so neither man was surprised when “chu” happened.
(а что можно ожидать от неспящего монаха, притворяющимся спящим, и от обезьяны, не могущей выбрать, куда ей повернуть... чему после этого удивляться?)
(замечу, что это весь фик целиком...)


Tonight Gojyo would finally satisfy his curiosity about what was under those white robes. (пока не заглянет под робу, не убедится, что у санзо все то же, что и у других мужчин?)
“I’m bored… Let’s play cards!” Goku declared. Sanzo shrugged, and the paper snapped shut as Sanzo stood up to join the two. He passed Gojyo’s bed, and paused. Purple eyes turned Gojyo’s way. “You joining us?” (какие мы вежливые!)

After an hour or so, everybody was ready to call it a night. Thankfully, the room also had its own shower and bath, and they took turns, Gojyo electing to go last. He was sorely disappointed when Sanzo appeared from the bathroom with wet hair but with the priestly robes still on. Dammit, didn’t monks wear pajamas to bed? (хаха! Вот бы видок был! И вообще можно подумать годжо одевает пижаму – кто бы говорил) Better yet, pajama bottoms alone… or maybe silk boxers. Phooey. Maybe they were like the Catholic nuns who always had to wear their habits (господи, ужас какой)

“I knew he was our enemy, that he wanted the sutra, that what he wanted to do was wrong… Dammit, he hurt Sanzo! He slashed Sanzo down the chest… And even when we were in that other place, that new world he had created, when he couldn’t defeat me, he went after Sanzo again! … But… but… I didn’t want him to die, Gojyo… Nande? … Nande, Gojyo? Why did Homura have to die? Why do I feel this way?”
“You cry because you loved him.” (О! Теперь вся ясно. А мы-то все голову ломали)


Продолжение в коментах. Буду чиать длинными дождливыми днями.))

@темы: цитаты, Sayuki, Илэра

Comments

[Хриза]

Behind him, Gojyo let out a soft groan of frustration, both from the fresh ache in his loins, and from Sanzo’s refusal to take him seriously. The thought had erupted inside of him out of nowhere (во-во... не из головы же – там ведь ничего нет), and true to form he had blurted it out to his beloved. Well, it was true, and he meant it. Sha Gojyo “with the long legs”, womanizer, chain-smoker, card shark, lean mean fighting machine (типа терминатор?), incorrigible flirt and ladies’ man, was in love; and red-blooded male that he was,(и угадай что------ he wanted to have Genjyo Sanzo’s baby.

Amethyst eyes spit fury at him as Sanzo struggled in vain. He smelled the sweet sake on his breath as Sanzo hissed at him, combined with the aromatic tang of cigarette smoke and Sanzo’s clean, indescribable breath that was all… Sanzo. (короче. Пахло от него перегаром. Что в этом приятного?)
Gojyo leaned in until their noses touched, one slim and aristocratic (допустим...), the other aquiline and all masculine (мужественный нос?!).
You may be the sun to Goku, and who knows what – the moon? – to Hakkai, the stars to Hakuryu, whatever. (хаха! Как это верно!)
“It’s a good thing that Sanzo and Goku didn’t hear about it…” Hakkai said confidently.
“Nope, you’re wrong…” a voice suddenly said.
Gojyo and Hakkai quickly stood up and in their fighting positions (так и представляю. Годжо с грозным видом «кто это сказал? Выйди и покажись»). Gojyo’s shakujo was seen and Hakkai was ready to fire his chi ball. The looked to the left and to the right but no one came out (это при том, что они были в лесу одни. Кроме гоку и санзо никого не было рядом). They were getting worried. It might be an invisible youkai (у страха глаза велики). But that doesn’t make any sense, don’t you think? (именно так и думаю)
“Oi! It was me!” the voice continued.
The both demons looked at the direction where the sound is coming from. They looked lower and lower and lower (нет чтоб сразу взглянуть вниз, а то какой-то стрип-взгляд: все ниже и ниже и ниже) and found out that it was… (блин, ума палата! Трудно было сразу догадаться)
“SANZO!” they both yelled in surprised. (без комментариев. Ладно еще годжо, но хаккай-то тупостью никогда не отличался)


“Good night y’all!” Gojyo said.
“Yes, yes!” Hakkai and Sanzo said together. (я прям умилилась)
They all closed their eyes and gone into their slumber land (сонное царство вообщем). But, one of the three still didn’t go to sleep (а как же?). It was Sanzo (можно было догадаться)… What’s he doing right now? (она нас спрашивает?) Why can’t he sleep? (а фик чей? Вот и скажи нам) What’s bugging him now? (а...ясно. она просто держит многозначительную паузу. щас нас помучает, а потом скажет какую-нибудь неожиданную вещь)
“I wonder…” (мда... если даже автор не знает... наверное санзо все мучается, как же он ни в кого перед сном не выстрелил, а наоборот – вежливо пожелал спокойной ночи)


His touch startles me...he feels alive and warm. (ваще... а обычно он холоден, как мертвец?)


In this incandescent lighting, you could trace the familiar features of this face --from those lazy amethysts to the point where his muscles and bones meet to make an angular curve (что это за центр такой?)


I sit up from my relaxed position, panting a little as beads of sweat come rolling down my face. I bring my hands in front of me and see them shake involuntarily (из серии «пока не увидишь, не почувствуешь»). Drawing my legs near me, I lean on them to try and stop my shakiness. My hands tucked tightly inside the small space (хм...) between my chest and thighs .
He felt warm, warmer than usual, but not hot. (а еще точнее? А то мы недостаточно поняли)
Sanzo opened his mouth again to say something but was again cut off by their arrival into town. (мог бы найти отмазку получше)


“And good evening too you too,” His eyes followed Gojyo’s finger as it descended on to his head in between his eye brows. Confused he uncrossed (хахаха!) his eyes and looked at the owner or the offending phalange.
“You,” A pause, Hakkai furrowed his brow and looked at the finger again (ха, Хаккай с окосевшим взглядом!), “Think too loudly,”


“You know, you can’t keep living and existence of pain. Eventually you’ll crumble and blow away in the wind.” (унесенные ветром)


“I may have one eye, but I can still see through you,” Hakkai said leaning close to make the statement


Gojyo could feel the smile against his skin (т.е. он чувствовал свою собственную улыбку на своем лице...)


When Gojyo finally returned, Hakkai feigned sleep. He listened as his friend moved as quietly as he could through the room that they shared to settle himself into bed (но хаккай все равно все слышал...). Even from this distance, Hakkai could smell the booze and cigarettes (и все унюхал)… and something else… a cheap perfume mixed in with the smells he usually associated with Gojyo. Hakkai recognized the scent (и не просто унюхал, а определил запах). Gojyo had been with this woman before.


Sanzo knows what kind of sun he is to Goku. He’s in Goku’s sky every day («Санзо, а Санзо! Ты мое солнце. То, которое на моем небе»), but he doesn’t warm him («Ты холодный. А солнце не может быть холодным!»). And he never will («Заткнись, обезьяна! Сколько раз можно говорить, я – человек, а не солнце!»)
“Have you ever seen a solar eclipse? (дальше – интереснее)” Goku asks.
“Yes,” he says, and that’s all it is. A word, a truth, a simple, inescapable fact. For he has seen an eclipse of the sun, but never in the sky.
In the mirror.


I snuck into his room- well really it wasn’t his room, it was a hotel room. And really, you couldn’t call it sneaking exactly (и на самом деле это был не я)


He smells really good, like cigarette smoke, soap, and something that was purely, indescribably Sanzo (ага, опять эта смесь пахнущей фигни и, конечно, что-то такое необъяснимое)


As Sanzo and Hakkai quietly walked down the hallway, Hakkai counted each number on the room doors. He did this as he had not the slightest clue as to which room was theirs (обязательно их считать?).
‘381, 382, 383 4...hm? Sanzo stopped…I suppose this is our room.’ (мог бы просто посмотреть на номер комнаты, когда санзо остановился) Hakkai thought.
Sanzo jammed the key into its lock and slightly kicked the door open. “Hurry up and get inside.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m holding this door for you…” (никто не знает - загадка)

[Хриза]

(привожу почти весь фик за исключением некоторых неинтересных кусков. Вообще это шедевр)
Hakkai walked in and inspected the room. It was nothing special, but it fit his likings. He never complained as long as the beds were comfortable. He made his way over to a bed and laid on his back putting an arm over his face as to block out the light. Sanzo slammed the door and sat on the same bed as Hakkai (ошибся кроватью?), taking off his robe only to reveal his tight black shirt and some-what baggy black pants (что еще за черные штаны? Что за стриптиз?). Hakkai thought it was odd that Sanzo sat on the same bed as him instead of the free one (он читает мои мысли. Мне это тоже странным показалось), not that he minded though. He sat up. ‘Hmm, I could use some sake right now, but I believe I should wait until I eat first.’ He thought.
“Hey, you want something to eat?” Sanzo asked (во какие мы вежливые!).
Hakkai chuckled it bit, seeing as he was just thinking about eating. “Yes, plea—ow…” (хм... не очень вежливо) Hakkai was interrupted as an obento 5 hit him in the side of the head. But Hakkai being Hakkai, just laughed. He opened up his lunch box and cleanly broke the chopsticks right down the middle. ‘Itadakimasu 5.’ He said inside his head (ваще... не inside his mind а в черепушке). After taking his first bite he took a peek at Sanzo and noticed he wasn’t eating, instead he was bent over rustling inside his robe again (а он ее разве раньше не снял, оголив черные штаны?).
“Aren’t you going to have something, Sanzo?” Hakkai asked once he had finished his mouthful.
“I’m not hungry.” Sanzo replied plainly, finally pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “Unlike you guys I can hold in my hunger and focus on more important things.” (типа махания веером и стрельбы из пистолета)
Hakkai wasn’t sure what could be more important than eating so he just shrugged it off (мысли а-ля Гоку).
Once Hakkai was done eating he asked, “hey Sanzo, want any sake or beer or something?”
Sanzo turned a bit to look at Hakkai, “sure.” He chucked his wallet and the room’s key at Hakkai. “Get the biggest one they’ve got. Oh, and don’t take too long, I don’t want to have to worry about you.” (хм... все-таки вежливость пробила себе путь)
Hakkai blushed a bit and laughed (достал уже. Еще не выпил, а уже ржет после каждого слова санзо), “ok.”
Once downstairs he gazed at all the available bottles of alcohol searching for the biggest one. He took a good seven minutes before he finally decided (такой большой выбор?). He happily (может, он уже выпил... а то все смеется, теперь вот счастлив без причины) paid for the bottle and made his way back upstairs and into the room.
Hakkai took two glasses and carefully poured the sparkling alcohol into each glass. He gave one to Sanzo and took the other to where he sat before he left. He happily (опять! Не, хаккай явно уже где-то хряпнул) sipped the alcohol.
Hours upon hours had passed and the two men were still downing glasses of alcohol (я плакал! Это какого размера должна быть бутылка, чтоб ее выпивать несколько часов?). Hakkai could stomach it all without getting drunk (а в туалет ему тоже ходить не надо?), but he feared that any more and Sanzo would totally lose it.
“Don’t get the wrong idea now…I just—“Before Sanzo could finish his sentence he leaned over and dropped his head onto Hakkai’s shoulder. (просто отдохнуть? Не катит отмазка)
This made Hakkai’s heart beat faster. “Eh…Sanzo?” He said nervously.
Sanzo didn’t answer; instead he draped his arms around Hakkai’s waist.
Even though this made Hakkai a bit uncomfortable he enjoyed it (он у нас мазохист: не нравится, но наслаждается). He desperately wanted to hold Sanzo back but decided against it (Еще одно проявление мазохизма). He gazed over at Sanzo to scan his exprеssion, which was innocent and gentle looking (в тихом омуте...). Hakkai slowly leaned over, taking a fairly large chance, and gently brushed his lips against Sanzo’s as if he was hesitating (это как зубной щеткой?), but Sanzo finished it off as he applied the necessary pressure to form a full-throttled kiss. They sat there sharing the intimate kiss for a good five minutes (молчу... пьют алкоголь несколько часов, теперь это. Про чудесные способности их легких история умалчивает) before slowly (в замедленной съемке) falling backwards, so Hakkai was on top.
Sanzo and Hakkai had finally (яп!) pulled apart their kiss and stared into each others eyes passionately. To Hakkai, Sanzo looked so gentle, so innocent (тебе это только так кажется, хаккай), almost like a young child who has not yet experienced the hardships in life (кто бы мог подумать!). He once again touched Sanzo’s cheek (как они все любят щеки трогать. Трогали бы руки как ватсон с холмсом).
“Sanzo…” Hakkai started to speak but Sanzo put a finger on his lips and removed Hakkai’s white sash, followed by his shirt.
“Ah-…” Hakkai’s face turned a bright shade of pink. After that Hakkai made the next move, he kissed Sanzo briefly and removed Sanzo’s tight black shirt. However he had a bit of trouble with this process because of the fact that it was quite tight (о! С кожей отдирал, наверное).
Clothing after clothing flew off both of the men until nothing was left (короче: они разделись).
“Sanzo?” Hakkai whispered. “I-I want you inside of me.” Hakkai blushed like crazy as he asked this, hoping Sanzo wouldn’t think anything bad of him (ха! а что можно подумать?), but this question came from his heart (ну это, конечно, снимает все возражения), and he wanted to experience a new kind of love with his new found ‘lover’ (без творческой самодеятельности никуда).
Sanzo flashed a devious smirk as he laid Hakkai up against the bed. He climbed on top of Hakkai and let his hand run down his chest before inserting himself inside him (insert... пока не поздно можно нажать ctrl+alt+del).
“Ah-“ Hakkai flinched in slight pain as small, clear beads of sweat rolled down his face. He took a hold on Sanzo’s shoulders and couldn’t help but squeeze them whenever he flinched (т.е. сжимать их, когда вздрагивал).
(короче дальше не интересно)


(когда я это прочла, меня чуть удар не хватил)
When he (санзо) yelled at Goku, it was almost like kissing him. Hitting him with the paper fun was like fucking him. And shooting at him, well – Sanzo had a metaphor for that, too, a bitterly obvious one, one he was fairly certain a monk of his high ranking wasn’t supposed to know.


“Sanzo, what are the noises that’s coming from Hakkai and Gojyo’s room at night?” this question caught Sanzo completely off guard. Believing that the priest was still listening, Goku continued “They sound like they’re fighting, but why would Hakkai be fighting Gojyo?”
Oh, sweet, naïve, innocent and oblivious Goku, Sanzo just didn’t have the heart to ruin the child’s innocence (ага, добрый дядя не скажет....) (Sanzo didn’t have a heart… period…), but he couldn’t leave the boy confused now can he (хм... не тянет на доброту)? So, the monk told the boy to hide in Gojyo’s room tonight if he wanted to find out (...не скажет, но покажет... типа если гоку все это увидит, его детская неокрепшая психика не пострадает?), this is exactly what the monkey did (а санзо сидит и довольно потирает руки).


What does Hakkai want? Sanzo knows, even if Hakkai doesn't... (ха)


Sanzo placed his lighter back into the layers of his robes. It was easy to hide a lot of stuff in them. (всегда хотела узнать, где он все это прячет)


"Really, Gojyo. You should cut back. Those things will kill you. You...smoke too much." Hakkai frowned, setting his bag down and letting Hakuryu, the little white dragon, fly onto his shoulder.
"You don't have to tell me all the time. I'll quit sometime soon..."
Hakkai smiled slightly at this statement. "And you don't have to tell me that every day, either. I know you just say that to make me happy." (по-моему он просто хочет, чтоб хаккай от него отстал)

[Хриза]

Gojyo came back smelling like cheap booze and sex (какой запах?!) as he stumbled into the door late that night.
He was swaggering back and forth and the room was dark, all but one small lamp in the right hand corner by the couch was on and he swore he could see a dark shape sitting there (хм... неужели света от лампы не хватило, чтоб разглядеть что-нить больше?).
“What in the hell?” he managed to think (out loud) (все-таки он способен думать... даже пьяный) and he almost made his way over to the couch without tripping…but the coffee table ruined his luck.
Falling over the table and onto the couch, his head just happened (да-да... «так получилось» - пытался годжо оправдаться перед раздраженным хаккаем, которого тот сильно ушиб... а как же? Приземлиться таким образом без нанесения вреда невозможно) to land in a warm mass (одеяло?)…oh…that’s just Hakkai (ах да! Ничего особенного... а то, что хаккаю больно, его не волнует).
…Hakkai!
Hakkai’s never up this late.
Hakkai’s face was turned away from him as Gojyo asked “Why are you up so late, you’re usually in bed by this time.”
The light wasn’t much, but it was enough to see clearly (ага... а раньше почему-то его было недостаточно).
And slowly, hesitatingly Hakkai’s head turned (как на разминке на физре... «а теперь медленно поверните голову направо....» - не хочется, а надо) and he smiled (рефлекс, наверное).
He smiled, but there were tears rolling down his face and his eyes (именно в таком порядке? А я думала, сначала из глаз, а потом по лицу....)…his beautiful eyes were anguished.
“I couldn’t sleep…not tonight.” And he was still smiling, but it was empty, it was just a reaction (я ж говорила, рефлекс!).
And Gojyo didn’t like it when he smiled like that (и по-другому тоже не любил).
“What’s wrong?” Gojyo asked with a slur, but with sincerity (ва-ва... пошло OOC). And he laced his and Hakkai’s fingers together (только свечей не хватает для полного счастья... хотя лампа их заменит).
He hated seeing Hakkai like this (и вообще ненавидит его видеть...).
If there was anyone who didn’t deserve to feel this way, it was Hakkai (один хаккай во всем мире).
And Hakkai was silent for a moment (на большее его не хватило), but he held their intertwined fingers up staring at them longingly (типа «эй, а что это с моими пальцами?» - иногда до него медленно доходит).
“You’ll never realize what you do to me.” Hakkai answered quietly and there was a tremor in his voice (только представь, хаккай со слезами на глазах, глядя с недоумением на их сплетенные пальцы, говорит, что годжо никогда не поймет, как он действует на хаккая).
Using his other hand (а ту руку-то не убрал...), he ran his fingers through Gojyo’s red strands (хм... рука застряла где-то посередине, потому что... потому что, когда это годжо успел причесаться и привести себя в порядок? Он же типа только что с ночных своих похождений).
"What do you mean?" Gojyo asked groggily while staring at their hands (и этот туда же... сам же сцепил их руки...).
"How many hearts have you stolen Gojyo?" he asked as he leaned closer (и тут годжо стал по очереди загибать пальцы), now releasing Gojyo's hand (наконец-то! Высвободил из своей жесткой хватки) and tracing Gojyo's lips with his finger (но в следующий момент захватил его губы... блин, прям садизм какой-то).
"...I don't think that any of them care...any more than I do."
Hakkai leaned even closer (куда уж ближе?) and he could smell the liquor on Gojyo's breath (да-да... и от такого «приятного» запаха он потерял голову).
"You’re forgetting someone," he said before he softly pressed his lips against Gojyo's (тех самых, от которых пахнет спиртным... ну-ну). But the moment was fleeting and quickly gone (именно поэтому хаккай остался в живых – алкогольные пары не успели навредить его здоровью).
Gojyo had a drunken, confused look on his face and Hakkai smiled slightly, a bittersweet smile and laid his hand over Gojyo's eyes (га-га-га! Сначала руки, потом губы... теперь и глазам досталось).
"Go to sleep" he said softly, and a few last tears fell from his tired eyes (отчего бы?), one hitting Gojyo's lips (ага... а на утро на губах вскочил синяк... все-таки хаккай садист).


“We’d better make camp, it’s getting dark already.” Hakkai sighs and puts jeep into park, climbing out and the rest of us follow suit. Exactly 45 minutes and 12 seconds after we had entered the forest mind you, I know, because I counted (боже, какой кошмар!). God, I really need to get some better hobbies (как годжо прав).

“Oi Hakkai you don’t look so good man.” (воистину) Came the drawled and yet slightly concerned voice of a certain long haired ero kappa who sat in the back of the jeep which was currently idle and in the middle of some forest on their way to the west (никогда не знала, что в индии столько лесов).


"Rooms 39 and 58 are yours," she pointed at both of them with her free hand. (тебе эти номера ни о чем не говорят?)