Sayuki, смешные цитаты из фиков

[hriza]

На что только не наткнешься в поисках английского.

Click! Sanzo locks the door.
Gojyo glares at the slab of wood.
Then he knocks again.
“Little pig, little pig, let me in…” the kappa chants. (ну да... как романтично)
Silence.
“Oi tareme (droopy eyes)! You’re supposed to say ‘Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin’!”


Without meaning to, Sanzo finds himself kissing Gojyo back ardently, their mouths opened wide as their slick tongues explore and slide and thrust hotly against each other. Dimly, Sanzo becomes aware that he and Gojyo are already rubbing their aching arousals against each other’s jeans. (а ты еще говоришь, у меня в фиках Годжо тупой... )


“Don’t you ‘poor kappa’ me! I mean it! You do realize those jeans don’t show off my legs… I have fine long legs…”
“Gojyo…” Sanzo begs, laughing weakly.
“What? It’s true! I have great legs!” (Ага!)
“Yes you do…”
“And now no one will ever know… I’ll have to wear baggy jeans for the rest of my life, like a fucking homeboy… well, at least I already have the bandanna to go with it…” Gojyo snorts disgustedly.


Seated side by side on Sanzo’s bed are the priest and the kappa, eyes closed, chins bowed, sitting in the lotus position, chanting solemnly (до чего Годжо любовь довела!)


Truth is, Gojyo and Hakkai did know, but they weren’t the only ones who did, the Kougaiji-tachi knew as well. Heck, even Homura’s gang knew of the monk and monkey’s predicament. (...и я знаю, и все остальные фанатки-психопатки... и весь интернет-слэш...продолжить список?)
Hakkai had given Gojyo no more than one task to complete while he was gone. This ‘task’ was to crack open a couple of eggs, placing the insides in a bowl. Simple no? No. To Gojyo, you see, everything has to be complicated. (во-во^^)
A crashing sound was heard as Sanzo rammed himself out of the closet. Why was he in a closet, you may ask? (хм... действительно, что он там забыл?)
Well, for some apparent reason Hakkai had ‘accidentally’ bumped into him, which caused the monk to loose balance and trip into the closet. After that Hakkai had ‘unintentionally’ locked the closet door, trapping Sanzo into the confined room. (оооо.... во как все сложно-то оказалось....) Weird, huh? (хорошо, когда автор отдает себе отчет, о чем она пишет...)


Sanzo was supposed to be the one to do ‘it’ with the saru first. He was his master after all… (самая главная причина!)


Goku couldn’t sleep. He rose from his bed and opened the door. The hall was dimly lit in the dark of the night.
Goku stepped out into the hall. He glance left, then right, then realized that he wished to go left, and thus turned the afforementioned direction and walked down the hall. (ну-ну... пойдешь направо – санзо поколотит, налево – годжо накричит, вот и не получается следовать своим желаниям^^)
Goku counted the doors. He wanted the third room from his. It was hard to keep track in the dark. (хм...наверное, темнота влияет на деятельность мозга)
Goku tried the handle. It was unlocked. How unusual.
Sanzo was awake. Not just barely awake, although he made it seem that way. Fully awake. (все всё поняли?)
Sanzo lie in bed, his robes pulled down to his waist. He stared at the door as it opened, but then closed his eyes quickly. («чудовище!» - подумал санзо и в испуге закрыл глаза)
Sanzo heard footsteps approach the bed (а вы что думали? Нюх, как у собаки, а слух, как у...). He ignored his hopes. (надежды, что это что-то, подходящее к его постели, повернет обратно и оставит его в покое)
Sanzo felt Goku’s breath as he lingered over the false-sleeping man (а только что был awake...). It was warm and quick, as if the monkey was nervous. Sanzo felt nervous, too. (за компанию, наверное)
Sanzo felt Goku’s hands being placed beside his shoulders as Goku bent farther over the bed. (как?! Он еще не открыл глаза? Поистине бесстрашный монах!) He opened his eyes (свершилось!) just a little to see Goku’s face (на остальное не хватило сил). Goku’s eyes questioned only for a moment before Sanzo’s gave the consent. (а чего вообще спрашивать? Вошел, наклонился... зачем какие-то вопросы?)
And so neither man was surprised when “chu” happened.
(а что можно ожидать от неспящего монаха, притворяющимся спящим, и от обезьяны, не могущей выбрать, куда ей повернуть... чему после этого удивляться?)
(замечу, что это весь фик целиком...)


Tonight Gojyo would finally satisfy his curiosity about what was under those white robes. (пока не заглянет под робу, не убедится, что у санзо все то же, что и у других мужчин?)
“I’m bored… Let’s play cards!” Goku declared. Sanzo shrugged, and the paper snapped shut as Sanzo stood up to join the two. He passed Gojyo’s bed, and paused. Purple eyes turned Gojyo’s way. “You joining us?” (какие мы вежливые!)

After an hour or so, everybody was ready to call it a night. Thankfully, the room also had its own shower and bath, and they took turns, Gojyo electing to go last. He was sorely disappointed when Sanzo appeared from the bathroom with wet hair but with the priestly robes still on. Dammit, didn’t monks wear pajamas to bed? (хаха! Вот бы видок был! И вообще можно подумать годжо одевает пижаму – кто бы говорил) Better yet, pajama bottoms alone… or maybe silk boxers. Phooey. Maybe they were like the Catholic nuns who always had to wear their habits (господи, ужас какой)

“I knew he was our enemy, that he wanted the sutra, that what he wanted to do was wrong… Dammit, he hurt Sanzo! He slashed Sanzo down the chest… And even when we were in that other place, that new world he had created, when he couldn’t defeat me, he went after Sanzo again! … But… but… I didn’t want him to die, Gojyo… Nande? … Nande, Gojyo? Why did Homura have to die? Why do I feel this way?”
“You cry because you loved him.” (О! Теперь вся ясно. А мы-то все голову ломали)


Продолжение в коментах. Буду чиать длинными дождливыми днями.))